I have been very vocal about my Post Partum Depression. And even wrote a blog about it— “A War Against Postpartum Depression”
It felt awful. Waking up not wanting to look at the mirror or be seen by anybody. Trying out clothes that don’t fit you anymore— disappointing and depressing.
Hearing people around you saying how fat you are is like a slap on the face every time.
I tried working out a couple of times. Enrolled myself in boxing— went on for 2 months. I had no choice but to give it up because since it was very time and money consuming considering the location is in Pasig while I live in Quezon City.
I tried jogging for a while and working out at home but eventually stopped. I still don’t see any change, and people kept on going with their judgments about how big I was. I almost gave up, ALMOST!
Before 2017 started I promised my husband I’ll be better. My goal is to have a job and do exercise (just for the sake of being healthy) but if I lose weight, then I’ll consider it a bonus.
Luckily I got a job last February, which lessened my chance to go to the gym since it was taking up much of my time (my free time from taking care of JC, of course).
It was on April 12, 2017 that I finally joined my husband in the gym. I was hesitant at first because it’s a “bakal gym”— A gym mostly for men.
I asked myself what the heck would I even do there?
But my husband ensured me that I’d be okay and it wasn’t a bad idea. So I gave it a try.
It was like entering a whole new world— something that makes my husband happy and I. Just. Don’t. Understand. Why.
Everyday my husband would ask me to go with him— and I’ll oblige halfheartedly. Every night he devoted himself to look for a workout routine that suits me and he’d collate it for my next session. My man, my coach in one person.
I gotta admit I liked it. Love it, even. I got challenged with every weight I lift, with every sweat. And ofcourse— the pleasure of seeing this side of my husband. The side I never got to explore but now.. I saw him play basketball, train dogs and everything else but this. I adore him. Watching him lift was like watching a teenage romance movie where I’d almost squeal of all the butterflies in my stomach. Hell, I’d watch him all day if I could. The way he moves in the gym (which he does since high school) is like how a painter does his masterpiece.
Everyday for the month of April. We halted last May (well it was that time of the year where people and families would mostly go somewhere to swim or relax) but we got back in last June.
This time I’m more eager, I started running and sprinting. I’ve done it before just not a lot.
And in a month I saw a lot of difference. Something I couldn’t believe at first. I saw changes I never thought could happen THAT FAST.
I never thought I would be able to see myself in this kind of body.
All of it was worth it. All because of my husband – thank you, Joe!
My body frame may never be the same as I was pre-motherhood— but that’s okay. I don’t care.
I love my body frame now, it’s been through a lot. It carried a baby for 9 months. It fought depression for 1 yr and a half. It’s stronger and braver now. Everything that happened taught me a lot of things.
From 48 kgs – 69 kgs real quick. 🙂
Wearing the same pants after 3 years!!!!
Never give up. Believe that you can! Don’t be afraid to try new things— you never know, this might be the time you win! The help you need starts with your own actions. Don”t let others bring you down no matter how painful the words are. Cry all you can, complain all you want.. pain is always gonna be there. But keep in mind that no gain is earned without a bit of pain. (Unless you have a lot of money and you can go ask the doctors to slice you up— )
Kidding aside, determination is always the key. Try and try, God may give it later than when you wished, but he WILL give it.